Different on Purpose

I was a powerhouse of a woman.

For most of my life, I wore that title with pride. I was raised by a strong, independent, mostly single mother who taught me one clear lesson: never rely on a man. Be able to take care of yourself. Don’t need anyone. Don’t be vulnerable. Don’t be dependent.

That mindset helped me survive a lot of life. It got me through hard seasons. It made me capable, responsible, and resilient. But somewhere along the way, I started to realize something uncomfortable:

Surviving is not the same as living in peace.

And being strong is not the same as being whole.

When Equality Became Sameness

I grew up in a culture that told women we could do everything men could do — and that we should. The message sounded empowering at first. We were told we were equal, and equal somehow turned into identical.

But men and women are not the same.

We are equal in value, equal in worth, equal in dignity — but we are different by design. Those differences aren’t flaws. They’re intentional. They’re meant to fit together.

Somewhere along the way, the world started teaching women to play both roles — to be the nurturer and the provider, the caregiver and the protector, the emotional anchor and the financial backbone. And slowly, many men were released from the weight they were meant to carry.

That wasn’t empowerment.

That was overload.

And a lot of women are exhausted because of it.

I Don’t Want to Dominate Life Anymore

Here’s the honest truth I’ve had to admit to myself:

I don’t want to be the leader in every area of my life.

I don’t want to be the one holding everything together.

I don’t want to live in constant survival mode.

I want my husband to lead.

I want him to protect, provide, and take responsibility for our family.

I want to be his partner — not his replacement.

That doesn’t make me weak.

That doesn’t make me less of a woman.

That makes me honest about how I was created.

For years I lived in a posture of defense — ready to fight, ready to control, ready to make sure no one could ever let me down. But I’m tired of living like a soldier in my own home.

I want to be able to soften.

Wanting Men to Rise Isn’t Anti-Woman

When I say I want men to be leaders again, people get uncomfortable. They assume it means control, silence, or going backward.

That’s not what I’m saying.

I don’t want women to lose their voice.

I don’t want anyone trapped in abuse.

I don’t want to erase the progress that gave women dignity and opportunity.

I want something healthier than what we have now.

I want men to rise into their strengths — to be present, responsible, protective, steady.

I want women to be free to live in their strengths — as nurturers, caregivers, builders of the home, encouragers, and partners — without carrying the weight of two people.

That isn’t oppression.

That’s balance.

Different on Purpose

For a long time, I believed the lie that needing a man made me less independent. Now I see it differently.

We were never meant to compete with each other.

We were meant to complement each other.

Marriage isn’t two people trying to be the same.

It’s two people bringing different gifts to the same mission.

We are equal in worth.

We are different on purpose.

And those differences are meant to work together — not cancel each other out.

I spent decades learning how to be strong.

Now I’m learning how to be at peace.