Learning to Love Myself

For years, I thought if I could just change the way I looked on the outside, everything inside would somehow fall into place. Cosmetic surgery, new clothes, better makeup — I chased all of it, hoping it would heal the damage I carried. But it didn’t.

It’s amazing how much effort, money, and energy we put into fixing our outward appearance, while neglecting where it really matters — inside. Looking back, I can see I was running from the hard work: counseling, setting healthy boundaries, nourishing my mind, and choosing habits that bring peace instead of more emptiness. None of that can be fixed with a scalpel or a mirror.

I’ve had to go back and dig up the brokenness of my childhood — the neglect, the abuse, the moments I thought I had buried for good. I’ve had to face the fallout of those years: the bad relationships I chose, the unhealthy life patterns I repeated, and the way I let pain shape my identity. It’s heavy work, and some days it feels like reopening old wounds. But healing doesn’t come from pretending they never existed. Healing comes when we face them and allow God to redeem them.

Healing isn’t glamorous. It’s raw, uncomfortable, and it takes showing up every day to face the pain and insecurities that have been hiding under the surface. I’ve had to let Jesus into the places I once tried to cover up — my damage, my fears, my walls I built so high no one could climb over. He’s teaching me that healing isn’t instant. It’s daily. It’s choosing to let Him work on my heart, even when it feels like nothing is changing.

And here’s the truth: no surgery, no makeover, no external change will ever replace the deep healing that comes when we surrender our broken pieces to God. Loving myself is less about how I look and more about who He says I am. It’s about learning to see myself as His daughter, worthy of love, grace, and restoration.

This is the real work — and it’s worth every bit of effort.